Hi, my name is Nikki. I'm a health coach. And I hate kale.
And I'm also HUMAN.
No, really. Kale gives me a stomach ache. And I like my moods, they keep me on my toes.
So often we idolize those in the wellness industry as being totally and vibrantly healthy and happy. All the time. We think they couldn't possibly ever be tired. Or have an illness. Or feel sad, upset, or depressed.
And if we do see them like so, we discredit them. Or we say "they should take their own advice."
To be honest, this can sting pretty bad.
But to be honest, again. I don't agree with the discredit, so therefore I can bounce back like the resilient chick I am.
And this is because I know myself way better than I ever have before. I accept myself way more than I ever have before.
And in accepting myself, I have accepted all parts of me. The dark parts and the light parts. We wouldn't know one without the other.
I wouldn't have content to write if I didn't struggle. I wouldn't be able to help you or coach you if I couldn't relate to your feelings. If I wasn't periodically reminded of what it's like to be frustrated or angry. OR happy and excited.
There is nothing more frustrating than being coached by someone who hasn't been there.
This isn't about being perfect. Let me throw that shit out the door for you.
If you think that I or anyone else or even you should be "PERFECT" "HAPPY" SHINY" "GLOWING" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year, you are sadly mistaken and striving for a fantasy that will lead you down a road of disappointment.
That's not being HUMAN. That's pretending. Some of the most "enlightened" people I know of, still admit to battling their "demons".
Take Oprah as an example. Look at how many people she has touched and helped over the years. And we are all aware that Oprah has had her own struggles and battles. Yet her popularity never wavered. Why? It was because she was AUTHENTIC. She was RELATEABLE. She was the poster child for "Yes, you can too because I did!"
THIS IS ABOUT RESILIENCY.
This is about being a few steps ahead of the crowd. It's about constant evolution and understanding of oneself. It's about seeking out the tools to make yourself better. Better doesn't have to mean "perfect".
The definition of "better":
more acceptable: more pleasing or acceptable than something else
of greater quality: of greater quality, usefulness, or suitability than something else
improved in health: in an improved state of health, after not being well
And "better" looks different for every one. Same way as healthy looks different for every one. Same way as eating looks different for everyone.
There are plenty of health coaches out there who appear to eat everything whole and perfect. They may even do that, I'm not saying they don't. Or they market themselves as such. Personally, that is unrelateable for me. So it doesn't attract me for long. I was coached by someone who was kind of like that. And although I was helped in some ways, there was always this barrier of "She just doesn't get what I mean" that stalled my progress. Which is fine. We just weren't the right match.
So why listen to someone who isn't perfect or who you don't think has "arrived"?
Because, why the fuck not?
I hope at this point, we've accepted "perfect" is an illusion. And we never fully "arrive" at our "destination".
The goal is to know thyself.
For it is in knowing oneself that we are truly free to create the kind of life that makes us feel at ease. Good mood or bad mood. Kale or no kale.
My hope for you is to embrace all the parts of yourself, love them up. Accept that we have bad days and weeks. Accept that we have good ones.
And thrown down the "F" word (ahem FORGIVE) to any one who is expecting otherwise.
Here are some tips on how to accept all the parts of yourself:
1. What are you feeling? Sad? Angry? Happy? What ever it is, acknowledge how you are feeling and sit with it for a few moments. Make it apparent to yourself you KNOW what you are feeling before someone else points it out.
2. Don't allow someone else's opinions of how you appear dictate your progress. I'm not saying that others can't offer insightful advice, but at the end of the day, only YOU can know how your moods affect you.
3. Don't make your moods MEAN anything. Don't make them mean you are a pathetic, useless person. Look at them with a nonjudgmental eye. Get curious about them. Investigate.
As always, if you need help with this or want to talk it out. I'm here for you, so shoot me an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Love hearing from you!