Sometimes your Ego likes to play games and distract you with the easy temptation and simpilization (that's not a word, is it?) of latching onto what all these well meaning self-help gurus like to dangle right in front of you: "Your pain is obviously your purpose." Are you mind-fucked yet?
There was soul-ACHING. And that's different from pain.
And I NO LONGER believe that my "pain" HAS to be my Purpose. My soul-aching, soul-gasm can be my purpose too, or instead of.