“You want nothing when you are trying to forget the something that is everything.” - Wasteland by Francesca Lia Block
What is that you are trying to forget?
What is that you have tried to banish?
What have you strapped down like some wild beast?
What have you tried to not feel?
What have you tried to not desire?
What have you tried to tame?
What truths have you tried to deny?
What lies have you been telling?
What power have you been abusing?
What power have you been demonizing?
What secrets have you kept?
What intimacies have you been avoiding?
What depths haven’t you plunged to?
What has penetrated the veil?
What have you tried to bypass?
What has you fucked?
What gets you unfucked?
What change have you been resisting?
What change have you been forcing?
What skins have you been shedding?
What skins have you been hiding behind?
What stings have you lashed upon yourself?
What poisons have you spit at others?
What transparency have been blind to?
What arousal have you been ashamed of?
What arousals have been lit up by?
What do you know that you have been programmed to believe you don’t?
What do you know about what you don’t know?
What is the something that is everything that you are trying to forget?
This New Moon in Scorpio will relentlessly strip away at us so that we may know the origin of our Desire, of our Truth, of our Power.
So that we may peel away the layers of tar that have latched onto our emotional, physical, and spiritual bodies. Luxuriating in every tormenting tear, relishing the pleasure within the pain.
So that we may purge. So that we may initiate our death. So that we may then alchemize.
There are many layers to a Scorpio New Moon. Scorpio is fixed in it’s extremism. It’s all or nothing. Do or die. Have for be had.
For better or for worse, this is the lunation we have this week. And it may be the most uncomfortable one of the year. You would think the Moon would love the deep waters of Scorpio but even for She, it can get a little darker than even she could have imagined.
Scorpio is the Underworld we must walk through, in order to become our own lights at the end of the tunnel.
Scorpio is not here to be soft, tender, light and love.
She is here to be ravenous, brutal, fierce, and above all else to strip us of false Power so that we may know the Truth of such a force.
The word “Power” has many definitions. Too many to list here. You probably have your very own. Plus your own opinions about it. That it’s awful. That it turns people sour. That it’s the only thing there is worthy of attaining. That it’s abused.
I personally prefer the open ended yet quite clear definition of: “A source or means of supplying energy.”
By these means, we are all Powerful. We are each a source and a means of supplying energy, for we are made of it. We are constantly alchemizing energy, from the very tissues of our organs, right down to our cells, to the things we create with our hands, the very act of typing as I am right now. I am supplying a form of energy onto this screen.
My Energy. My Power.
And yet I am uncomfortable saying such a thing as “My Power”...I fill with thoughts of “Who do I think I am?” “What Power? You’ve done nothing with your life, you are no authority.”
They sneak right in making themselves known through the slight twinge of crunchiness I experienced in my body when I typed it out.
Perhaps it happened for you too. Perhaps it has happened when you have explored this concept of what Power means to you.
We often hear in the self-help and spiritual industries about reclaiming or standing in our Power and yet we bypass the nuances that surround such a word, such a feeling, such an expression; it’s a loaded gun.
It’s the same with the concept of Desire. Every course or mildly sexual program promotes to us the reclaiming of our Desire. Like all it is is having an orgasm while eating chocolate. And yet, we too ignore how complex Desire is and the heaviness we face as we look upon it.
Truth. Desire. Power. Transparency. Arousal. Death. Rebirth.
These are Scorpio’s core focal points when you whittle Scorp down to the bones.
The often overlooked component, surrounding Desire and Power specifically, is what has been programmed within these loaded words over the past few hundred years.
Let’s face it, we live in a world that has things set up in a certain manner. We are running on Patriarchy and Consumerism. You’d have be spiritually blind at this point if you don’t believe they influence the very nature of our Desire and our ownership or disownership of Power. There is a Matrix, and it’s smart and savvy.
We are asking people everyday to Reclaim something that is STILL running upon so much programming that it’s no wonder to me at this point that those teachers and students within the self help and spiritual communities are left jaded, underwhelmed and more confused.
Maybe I speak only for myself when I say that? But I do happen know a heck plenty of others that have similar sentiments that are doing the work to demand and command that the current foundations which Desire, Truth, Power sit upon are interrogated thoroughly and more often than not destroyed.
This is not out of hate, or out of a desire to destroy the good that is also within the complex fuckery we are running. It is because right now is the time to do such dauntless and dark work and it is horrendously needed. I need not even explain myself with that, you know what I’m talking about if you’re reading this. There is distortion present.
It’s time to question the nature of our Desire, to question the nature of Power. To question and tear down the barriers. For each time we tear down the barrier, we cultivate more intimacy with ourselves and by default, with others.
It can look divisive between souls on the surface at times, it can look like we are inflicting torture within ourselves with the endless barrage of questioning that never stops, and yes sometimes it is very self flagellating.
But this is Scorpio, ushering in a New Moon that promotes an unshakable intimacy with every part of our being. For when we KNOW ourselves this well, we can then have more room to understand what it is that really arouses us, what it really means for us to embody desire, what really feels like Power, what really feels like an ultimate Truth, not reliant upon anything outside of ourselves.
We become our greatest source of energy. Our greatest source of Arousal. Our greatest source of Desire. Our greatest source of Power. Our greatest source of Truth. Our greatest source Alchemy. Our greatest source of Knowing.
And that sounds pretty damn resolute to me.
Through the exploration of what we deem to be our unreasonable desires we will find reason. Spaciousness has a way of conjuring gravity.
Scorpio is last of the Transformational signs before we enter into the Collective signs of Sag, Cap, Aqua, and Pisces.
She is the last piece that helps us unify any personal components with the awareness of the Other. It’s a further deepening of “I” and “We”. Which is why we come into contact with all that is taboo, mysterious, and controversial here. This is where we realize that we are ALL made of contrast, of extremes, of intensity, of ill will and of good will. It’s all coming in hot.
Imagine yourself as Persephone whom is traveling the dark Underworld, learning and finding deep deep magic within, almost like a rite of passage and she comes out into new territory after a period of time.
And we need to KNOW all of this so that as we move on, into the collective, we aren’t being energetically fucked with left and right. Although this will probably still happen because you know...life is as such, we learn how to come back to this deep deep Source of Power that is safely tucked where we desire for it to be, and ready to be called upon as we move along with all that arouses us in the best and worst ways.
On this New Moon in Scorpio I urge you to circle back to the list of questions at the start of this blog. Do it a few times. Let yourself go deeper and deeper with them. Blowing up anything that feels insincere to you.
For instance, I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m having such a hard time even letting myself have a full bodied unbridled desire, the type I feel pulsating from my womb (again, this is not just a “sexual” response) because I am in a deep place of exploring how much of what I have told myself I wanted over the past few years has been tainted with some form of programming to some degree. And there is a DESIRE to see what will come through once I destroy these layers. And the mind fuck goes DEEP on this one. Example, the very fact that I desire to have dreams for my life because since birth we’ve been told to dream big. And further, the very desire that I want to make money becomes fucked up in my head because money isn’t even real and was created by man, and rules the world. The very longing for a job/career comes from the programming of consumerism, for if it did not exist wouldn’t there be more truer and equal exchanges of services? Essentially I am finding out there are some core places where many of the desires I have are not coming from a neutral place of desire, but are coming from a highly charged attached place of desire influenced by multitudes of programming in this life, in the last ones, and the ones that have been carried through various places in the universe to hold in this body.
So when people ask me “What do you really want? What do you desire? What would you do if you had all the money in the world?” I don’t answer back, because I can feel the programming running in my throat, in my body. I literally can’t answer anymore (or yet) because I’ve already gone through the reel of “Well I could want that, but I know it’s coming from this place of programmed fuckery so maybe not.” It’s a pretty trippy place to be, but a necessary part of my process right now.
This New Moon in Scorpio is helping us transmutate this, but we have to be willing to ask these invasive questions. We have to be willing to be our own detectives with this. We have to be willing to MEET IT ALL. To relish in our shame and guilt, in order to let it change.
My belief is that if we have “Dark Night of the Soul’s” almost daily, if not weekly. And that instead of this being something to resist, to shame, to demonize, that we instead could shift our perspective to this occurrence as being a tool, or an ingredient of the chemistry that will help along our transmutations. These occurrences are little Daemons lurking about meant to inspire us, not harm us.
This is a New Moon that really favors solitude as there are some extremes of emotion happening in some deep cavernous places that are there to help you to develop your claircognizance, the ability to just KNOW things. That is Scorpio’s language, the ability to know that which is hidden and out of sight, and this knowledge is like a compass.
Imagine what it would be like if we all had a clearer understanding around what the sensation of knowingness felt like for us, how this ability of just..knowing... could guide us?
If we are able to develop such a power...it will be hard to suffer any fools. Which may be a good or a bad thing depending on your outlook!
This particular New Moon in Scorpio is making a semisextile to Saturn in Sag and a quincunx to Uranus Rx in Aries. These are minor aspects that reactivate the bigger one: The Saturn Uranus trine that just had it’s final exact aspect on Nov. 11th.
Trines are nice little movements and this one has been shaking shit up massively, but making sure that some stability is not too far away. Believe me, if this were a square, these two would be like “DESTRUCTION!!!!” “NO STRUCTURE!” or “REBELLION” “NO! TRADITION” at each other...and sometimes they still do that but it’s a little bit more helpful because it’s like “Yes Yes FINE, We need to awaken for sure but like we also need to have some shit in place so it’s not chaos.” And so they do TRY to work together. This trines make it so that what gets hit with a lightening bolt is always rebuilt even better.
SO, Scorpio being the master of Alchemy (even though it’s stubborn as fuck!) is reactivating this aspect bringing in this gigantic undercurrent of what needs to change. Yes...it could really level some of us, but likely it’s for the best and we KNOW that. Likely it’s so that we find that Power I talked in detail about. Likely it’s so we blow up outdated or false pictures and desires we’ve been running so that more authentic and truthful visions can come in.
While this has been quite agonizing to realize that my Desire nature is pretty off, it’s also absolutely Arousing to me, which is ..well a good sign! Now I KNOW that I need to destroy some deep shit, now I know that because there’s been all this programming….the opposite is also possible...there must be a deprogram process as well.
Knowledge is power, but this is the kind of knowledge that is only found within after you SEEN some shit. You know what I mean?
After you’ve questioned the very fabric of your soul and your humanity will you then find the essence of the Power we’ve been seeking all along.
P.S Remember: “You want nothing when you’re trying to forget the something that is everything.” ….let that be your guide into the Underworld. What are you trying to forget?
P.P.S Want to know more about the astrology of this New Moon in Scorpio and the rest of the weeks energy, what rituals you can do, what areas you can focus upon, what qualities are coming forward within us at this time? Then check out the 10,000 word PDF Guide & Meditation I created for you to work the magic of this New Moon. Click here to get your Guide!