F U L L M O O N G E M I N I - A Story of Truth
As I sat down to look at the aspects of this Gemini Full Moon, and to feel into them…it became more and more uncomfortable. I feel like I want to write this, rip off the bandaid and be done with the event.
There’s a mixture of bravery and meekness in the atmosphere. We are trying to flap our butterfly wings and fly.
Gemini is not known for being the most emotionally literate of the signs, as a “Masculine” Mutable Air sign there’s a majority of thinking mechanisms involved with it’s energetic imprint.
Yet Full Moons are known to swell the world with what appears to me emotional behavior, they don’t call it “lunatic” for nothing…yet they also don’t call it “going mental” for nothing either. But everything is interlinked no matter which way we lean; the mental body, the emotional body, the physical body.
Where does one end and the other begin? I can’t see that they would be divided as such and still lead to thriving beings - and perhaps that’s where we all struggle - their integration - the Schism within that we’ve been programmed to cultivate. And for some of us..that is the “right” path - it serves their soul expression in one way or another - but for others..it may be “wrong” and this is where things like depression, anxiety, substance abuse and mental “disorders” can come into play. But perhaps that’s a whole other exploration for another time.
That Gemini curiosity has taken hold so I’m calling back to center right now.
This Gemini Full Moon settles at 0º of this sign, a potent area for a planetary body to sit; right at the beginning. Thinking, Communicating, Receiving Information is where our own minds tend to drift when we think Gemini. And it’s true - this kind are natural Storytellers with all that they’ve got stored up in there. They make for captivating hosts of information.
So this Full Moon can illuminate the stories we tell, along with the characters we play. After all Gemini also gets the reputation of Two Faced. I prefer Shapeshifter. We play many characters in our lives and it’s been something I’ve tried to make peace with as a topic I explore in therapy; my own ability to adjust to the situation I’m in to “thrive” but also to protect myself. I become frustrated when I feel like I’m not just speaking my mind, sharing “my truth” (GAG!), and being that consistent presence throughout all experiences and interactions. It’s really ridiculous to expect that of myself considering the vast, complex world we live in!
Over the weekend I became familiar with the psychological phenomena called Reaction Formation, essentially it’s a protective compulsion to behave in the opposite way to which we really feel. If we deeply love someone, we show harshness or indifference. We hate someone, we show adoration. Here’s the proper Wikipedia definition:
“In psychoanalytic theory, reaction formation is a defense mechanism in which emotions and impulses which are anxiety-producing or perceived to be unacceptable are mastered by exaggeration of the directly opposing tendency. The reaction formations belong to Level III of neurotic defense mechanisms, which also include intellectualization, dissociation, displacement and repression.”
And now I can’t help but see that as a synchronicity that came through for these Gemini times. It has been said that those who participate in Reaction Formation (btw - pretty much all of us do this to some degree!) are not doing so out of a means to be dishonest and lie - but to defend, to protect, to keep a vulnerable bit within safe. So perhaps the next time we experience Gemini energy, like right now, we reframe it in this way now having this information communicated to us through the endless research of psychological sciences.
Now that we have this information - we can notice when that Reaction Formation, takes hold and we are very very severely NOT acting in alignment with how we truly feel at all. Because that opposite reaction to how we feel will later on feel pretty bad. The “Why did I say that when I didn’t mean it?” “Why did I agree to this when I really don’t want to?”
I highlight this Reaction Formation not as a means to diagnose us - I’m not qualified at all to do that so seek your doctors etc etc. But how fucking illuminating of a piece of information is this for all of us? We aren’t being “two faced” - we are trying to cope with uncomfortable feelings that we may not yet cognitively understand.
Gemini is not necessarily the most comfortable sorting through the often undefinable, deep, existential emotions and feelings we experience so we can all react in odd ways right now. We are also facing the end of the year nostalgia and angst. The holidays literally at our feet. We are reflecting on that confrontational questions of Who are we after this particular year of our lives? There’s nothing like the holidays as they are often a marker for comparison of the past.
So yes, an identity crisis can come through as we dance through the twin polarities that Gemini manifests as. Light. Dark. Heavy. Bright. Meek. Brave. Quiet. Loud.
I mentioned a few days ago a sense of courage bring stoked with this strong Mars Jupiter Square. We can smell the clarity, taste it, feel it right at the brink of our fingertips. We are hungry for the truth, for love, for success, for action, for movement.
This Full Moon enhances that feeling but with a bit of that experimental Gemini coming in to play a bit of devil’s advocate with us. We may be saying to ourselves a certain thing didn’t “work” so “What would happen if? If I just did this this way? Said this thing that way? Invested my energy here instead of there? Said No instead of Yes, Yes instead of No.”
We know that the curiosity of “What if” is where action taking can begin. Yes “What if” is known to be a statement of regret in many ways - but it need not be defined as only that. Gemini asks us…what about…the “benefit” of raising that question …which can lead to the mental space of “Why not?!”.
And OH sure sure, there’s a lot of riskiness that can happen with this Full Moon. It’s likely we will have foot in the mouth moments as we try to locate the strength of our voice, make a risky purchases as we try to execute our values, and perhaps have an accident while doing something new OR something old that has been totally unaligned.
We can’t forget the ruler of this Full Moon, Mercury IS retrograde, and in the sign of Sagittarius - the opposing “sister” sign to Gemini. That Mercury sits fairly closely to the Sun and Jupiter which are exactly opposing the Full Moon. Mercury calls for our reflection, our rethinking (NOT OVERTHINKING SO DONT EVEN TRY IT!), our reassessing, our REVIEW.
We bear the possibility that we can fall under the spell of making something small mean something bigger and feeling like a huge deal when all we need to do is breathe that air for a while and then look again with knew eyes and a calmer mind.
The best storytellers are the kind that weave melodies together with true to the heart ingredients. They pepper in the emotion right there to the edge and then they bring it back and sprinkle the logic. They tie it together with emotive and clever words to convey.
Gemini at it’s highest expression bears the soul of a lyricist and the wit of a salesman. Drawing you in, captivating you, moving you, selling you a little something something you really needed.
So while this Gemini energy may not being drowning in the feels say the way Pisces does, there is not a lack of it, there is just an intellectual flare in the presentation of it.
My favorite thing to say to someone who tells me they only make decisions from logic or only choose a choice because it’s logical is to quip with a smile “Oh and what - logic is not in some way a feeling you are chasing?”.
Because it’s true - at the end of the day, in my opinion, our emotions and feelings are at the origin of our “rational” “logical” behaviors and choices.
So what a time it could be for some of us to dabble with this Airy energy. We know that there is emotion at the origin - yet the energy is here to present it with evidence, fact, and logical sounding words and rational mannerisms. Okay, we can play this game can’t we?
We can use this to our advantage in that if we play the cards right this “rationality” will help us present really really rough complex feelings with more finesse to the people in our lives - that sort of “fact based” approach to our feelings can absolutely bring a sense of self assuredness if we channel the energy there instead of overthinking, and avoiding our feelings.
Maybe, MAYBE, we may even have the courage to share our vulnerability with the statement “ I know you have seen be behave in this way (insert behavior here) but that’s not actually the truth of what I feel AND think, that behavior has been a defensive mechanism to hide this truth, I’d like to share with you now - if you’ll consent to hear it and listen.”
Doesn’t that feel so much better and far less “Dramatic”? (not that there’s anything wrong with a little drama!)
Doesn’t that feel like it leaves room for more SPACE in our mental, emotional and physical bodies?
Doesn’t that feel like it leave our brains with the capacity to think clearer?
And folks if that sounds absolutely foreign to you right now to even fathom getting there starting with observing yourself in the process and how you behave. Try to forgive yourself if you fuck up. Try to forgive the other - if they are willing to say “I’m sorry” and mean it. There will absolutely be the compulsion in the air to behave in the opposite way to which we truly feel and if that is what happens; it’s information for that Gemini energy in you to be curious as fuck about. To compute.
It’s also information for you to sort through the things you are labeling as “bad” or “good”. We often do “bad things” because we don’t even have safe spaces to speak upon them - there’s an immediate sense of shame and the threat of other’s beliefs being louder than our own.
Sagittarius - where the Sun and Jupiter and Mercury Rx are right now - are associated with dogma and religious- faith based - practices. That stuff is intimidating and looms over our current understanding of the world in so many different places - it’s no wonder we carry these secrets of personal truth with us.
This extends to even the smallest of ways where we are constantly acting out of alignment with our personal truth; the Gemini/ Sagittarius axis relates to the personal mind, thought body and curiosity of our personal thoughts to the exploration of collective beliefs and philosophies in search of “THE truth”. They feed off each other.
I’ve heard it shared that if a Retrograde phase of a planet is doing a number on you it’s because you are out of alignment and it’s trying to correct you to where you now need to be by making you face the damn thing.
If anything that feels like reaction formation feels awful and unbearable after you do it: maybe you just need to talk about your feelings, thoughts and beliefs in a safe space - get something off your freaking chest. And it’s actually not that big of deal of an identity crisis - just a new thing you need to try out doing so that reaction formation can be appropriately assigned.
Just using that as a wee example.
Trying to be more truthful in our expressions is like a buzzword right now. Telling the truth and being more vulnerable is also the trend. Yet there are so many inauthentic assholes using it ironically without understanding. And using it as a sales tactic.
But it’s time for Gemini to mature into the gorgeousness of it’s evolved expression as this culmination of a Full Moon approaches; Storytelling from the Heart.
Reflect on where you were at with the Gemini New Moon 6 months ago in June in aspects of expression and communicating. We’ve got a chance over the next couple weeks to really fire it up and get real honest with ourselves about all of the above.
One final thing: If you’re going to spill the beans, be ready to eat the beans back. Anyone you share your story with, has a story of their own. Any roles you’ve given to someone else in your life, they sure as shit have named your character as well in their own book.
In lots of nonviolent communication practices they ask you to make sure you take ownership of your expressions, and not immediately project blame (although I’m personally of the belief that assigning blame can actually be a healing for all involved).
In lots of communication practices they urge you to use disarming statements: “The story that I’m telling myself about you and this situation goes like this……etc etc….and I’m not sure how accurate that story really is. I don’t like this story I’m telling, it doesn’t feel good, OR it does feel good because it makes me right in every situation but that’s not working out in the long run for either of us and is harmful to you.”
Presenting certain things as a story we are telling ourselves - takes it and places it on a table for a well rounded review. And if nothing else - it helps you really really get some of those thoughts out of your mind and taking how the other person reacts as a measure of their emotional intelligence and literacy and letting you decide to go from there.
I know that may sound harsh but this is a Full Moon and there is a lot of fire and air in the atmosphere (with a bit of water) urging us to act on these intuitive and instinct hits of truth we are getting.
And sometimes the actual truly VULNERABLE thing to do IS to put on the “stern” face if it’s not something you’re using to doing.
There is always vulnerability in acting in alignment no matter how it presents.
Everything I’ve shared above really does cover the energy of the Full Moon opposing the Sun & Jupiter in Sagittarius, as well as what the Mercury Rx in Sag is doing. If you want to check out the provocation of the Mars square I recommend checking out this Instagram post I wrote earlier this week.
But a few last things here: Neptune has gone Direct. While Neptune was retrograde since June in it’s long term transit of it’s home sign of Pisces it’s helped us “get real”. Neptune retrograde can support us to see situations that cause us suffering a bit more clearer - even including health ailments!
I can personally say that since June I: entered into therapy for my mental health and became officially diagnosed with health issues that have been mysterious in nature (so Pisces) and gone on medication for one of them that seems to be having some effect!
It may not have always felt exactly clear if you were purposely ignoring or cursing everything this planet was trying to get you to notice. If you didn’t deal with your mental or emotional health it likely got worse, if you over misused substances - the effects were more more intense, if you spent all your time in lalawoowoo land the angels you were seeing may have directed some demonic presences your ways. Lucifer is an angel after all.
So now with Neptune direct - if we did what we were “supposed” to - more creativity, imagination, and a deeper sense of spiritual connection/faith can flood through. Our emotions can become that source of psychic instinct guiding us in subtle ways where we need to drift and take action (also supported by Mars in Pisces in some ways). We may be attuned to messages from other realms and be able to do work multidimensionally.
If we didn’t well - a rock bottom of suffering can come through where we feel that immense sense of loss, torment and endings. If we didn’t the denial can grow deeper, leading to longer more complex recoveries. If we didn’t deal the pain of being human can feel like it’s too much to bear leading to psychotic breaks or overdoses of numbing medications. There is always a transition time as planets station direct or retrograde so this is where a lot can come up to the surface for your attention to address. There is still time to not get swept away with the riptide if you choose to challenge the “fate” you feel you’ve been dealt.
Remember…What if?…Why not?