Rock Your Bottom

Hey Noshers!! Hope you guys are having a wonderful week. Rejoice in the fact that Mercury is not longer in retrograde! Weee!!

Okay so you are probably wondering "What's with that title?". I do reaaalllyyy want to you to physically rock your bottom! It's fabulous exercise and fun, so put on some Beyonce and let your Sasha Fierce come out! ...Alright... maybe that's not the only reason, it might have something to do with me enjoying people making an ass (pun intended) of themselves. Hehe : ) JUST KIDDING.

So here's the REAL reason I want you to "rock your bottom."

We've all had those days where we just can't do it anymore. We've forgiven, we've eaten our veggies (only to have a damn stomachache) and we've even did our meditation and yoga AND killed it at work, while also taking care of the kids and spending time with our significant other. See, I recently came to the point where I was being so "good" the "bad" part of me was screaming like a 2 year old with diaper rash. I was being too gentle with myself and others. I was patient. I was kind. I was doing my best. I'm sure if you are famililar with this feild of wellness and metaphysics you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Well needless to say I was sick of it all. Sick of everyone, everything. I view myself as being a pretty open minded person. I am forgiving, I am understanding, I am consciously aware of all the subtleties going on in my surroundings.

Why do I do this? Because it's pretty stifling to my forward momentum not to be. I also do this, because so many people judge, are assuming and arrogant. The world needs less of that. I have made it part of my mission to be open to others as often as I can.

BUT being open minded is not easy either. Especially when you are surrounded by those who are not. And damnit, I was so tired of trying and feeling like none of my "holding space" even went noticed or appreciated.

This frustration I was feeling also made me turn inward to myself. I'm not going to lie, I berated myself. Was I actually being my true self by being so kind? When in actuality I REALLLLY wanted to stab someone in the throat, point out every bullshit thing they have ever said, give them the raw truth? Then I started hating on my body. Such an easy low blow.

Through all of this though, something was different. I was ACUTELY AWARE more than I had ever been of myself. I was able to laugh when my head told me I was fat. I was able to laugh when I I realized I was putting my self and my abilities (or lack thereof) down.

I have still been able to do this. Just last night, I got home from work and all I wanted to do was lay down. So I did, but fighting taking a nap, instead reading. Later on after 10 pm, I realized I was becoming more awake again. I got really angry with myself, for doing this AGAIN. But AGAIN something was different. Instead of being too harsh with myself and thinking " I am never going to change." , I was able to OBSERVE without judgement what I was doing. I did this again, it's not serving me, it doesn't feel good. Now what?

The great thing about hitting a "bottom" (other than it making a fun sound) is that you feel, hear, see, and sense EVERYTHING so acutely, so sharply. This makes you much more aware of what you could be doing differently to not end up self loathing again. We all know what we should be doing already, for the most part. But hitting rock bottom makes us FACE what we've been avoiding. It's really a beautiful thing. I'm still in the trenches of my bottom, but I'm digging my way out with a new shovel, a better shovel. Use being down here for a chance to transform, regenerate, and rebirth yourself. Don't listen to the harsh words of self loathing when you are down there, but pay attention to the messages in between. The instructions, the directions. Decode a little bit. And also, before I forget. Rock your bad-ness! Use the 80/20 rule in life. Be good, do good, most of the time, but rock the bad-ness once in a while. Whether your bad side is purposefully "forgetting" to pick up the dry cleaning or calling out of work "sick" (just please nothing too illegal). We can not be perfect all of the time. But we can be BALANCED.

Stay in rock bottom for a bit, sure it's cold, wet, uncomfortable and dark. But, you must know these things before you can know what warm, comfortable and light is.

So tell me in the comments below. How did you get to your bottom? And what are 3 ways you can ROCK YOUR BOTTOM?