I just started writing with very little idea of what I wanted to write to you about.
I had several topics floating around, but none of them where really firing me up on this particular morning (this may or may not have something to do with the massive snow storm this morning). And as I write this, I am still not sure where I am going. And I feel really good about that.
But, what I do know is that I played around with this image below last week and when I looked at it this monring I felt I needed to share it.
I found this beautiful picture of woman in the most elegant, feminine, yet strong pose. With a snake carefully slithering around her. Wow.
Truth be told this image has been a source of inspiration for me over the last few months.
When I look at it. I simply...FEEL. I feel a balance of masculine and feminine energies. A deep fierceness. Which is why I paired the quote from Shakespeare "And though she be but little, she is fierce." Her body is clearly feminine, yet you can see the outlines of her muscles, strong enough to hold her and a large snake with a sense of grace. There is something masculine there.
It has me thinking about how we show up in the world with our energy. About how we need both masculine and feminine energies, despite whatever sex we identify with, to function in life.
Masculine energy dominates the business world. Masculine energy wants to "fix" things, find solutions to the problem at hand. That is why men to be so drawn to the corporate world and to politics, since those careers is what that tends to call for. Yet, as a nation I bet we can feel how inbalanced we have become by this.
Men have to keep a straight face, keep their heads down, and get to work. Unable to express their emotions because the job simply doesn't allow room for that. If you have to cry, go outside.
I see this filter over a lot to women as well though. Especially those of us entering the business world. There is this massive yet subtle undertone of women being seen as weak, wavering, and untrust worthy if they allow their emotions or intution come into play with business.
Meanwhile it is simply in a womans nature to wax and wane. We are like an upward spiral. Whereas masculine energy tends to be linear. This is where I see a need for more feminine energy in business.
Given how the world is evolving. Uncertainty has been forefront. Ups and Downs are rampant. Change comes and goes. Movement and then standstills.
If you take a step back and look at business....it looks a lot like this. Periods of highs and lows are commonplace in the stock market now. Why have we not correlated this to something very feminine in nature? It is called "Mother Earth" after all.
And I wonder if it is because there isn't enough feminine energy helping to run the show. As women, we tend to evolve rapidly. We tend to ride the waves. We already have that movement in us because of our physical and emotional nature.
Any woman can testify to feeling elated one hour and then overwhelmed the next. And there is nothing wrong with that. But we are told to fight it, that clearly something must be not normal about us because we don't feel the same way all the time or most of the time.
I can't say I haven't felt absolutely awful for feeling this way as well.
This morning I came to realize that it may have to do with me fighting my femininity.
Sure, I do my hair, I put on makeup, I wear lovely smelling perfume and body oils. I get the occasional mani/pedi. I love to bake yummy desserts. I love to make tea and write in my journal.
While those may be feminine behaviors and feel amazing for me, what I have been fighting goes deeper.
I fight with my emotions. I feel bad for not just being able to muscle through without secretly hating it. I try to fix everything and everyone who I think needs fixing. I keep it business minded and try to take nothing "personal". Tell myself it is all "politics" while quietly cursing under my breath about it.
I try to be the standup kinda gal. I pay for things more often than I feel comfortable with not because I like to but because I want to be treated as equal to my male counterparts.
I do bootcamp style work outs because I like the idea of looking completely badass and being just as strong as a man.
And while I have been looking at all these things that I do that are masculine or femine centered I realized that...maybe I have been tipping to far into the masculine on important subjects.
I realize that the reason I have been doing this comes from a deep wound I have around sexuality. I don't invite more feminine energy to come because I feel damanged in some way and I want to hide it.
It hurts too much for me to want to go out and dance. It hurts to much for me to desire flowers for no reason. It hurts to much for me to express my emotions the way I need to because it's like I'm glimpsing something and going to a place I feel I can never truly envelope.
I don't like feminine based exercise because it scares me.
I'm terrified of my true deep femininity. The wound I am talking about goes way deeper than I can explain right now.
But I'm also sure this has something to do with the distrust society has around females in the business and political world. Maybe just society in general.
We have made huge strides over the years. Absolutely. But I still can see where the undertones play. I know we all feel it. I think even women don't trust other women.
I think it is time for a female president. While it won't be me, I have no doubt that this is what this country needs. Self-assured feminine women in positions of power.
But our self-assuredness starts with us. Both men and women in society need to learn how to master the balance of the energies within us. We all have both the masculine and feminine within us. In our society of excess we tend to tip too far to one or the other.
It starts with us learning and exploring and becoming the masters of own selves.
This requires being inquistive, radical questioning of our beliefs, and experimentation.
But I truly feel that this is a key factor in moving forward in our evolving world. And the least painful.
This is where I will end this. I may have went off on a tangennt. And this is not a normal newsletter for me. But....I'll embrace my feminine nature right now and go with it.
Who knows what will happen.
Until next time. Keep feeding fierce.
And as always, if you need support I am here to guide you. Emailnoshingwithnikki@gmail.com to set up a free consultation to find out more about how coaching can help you.
Ready for a taste of coaching? Schedule a "Show Up Session". During this hour(ish) long session we will help you get laser focused around a particular area in your life you feel you need to "show up" for more. Whether thats food or career, I've got you covered in this one on one session.
I am also now taking clients for my 3 month "Feeding Fierce'' coaching program. Over 10 one on one sessions we will dive deep to create the kind of life you love living and eating in. I will provide you with the support and tools you need to start feeding fiercely and co-create the kind of change you've been searching for. Email me now to set up your free consultation to see if this program is right for firstname.lastname@example.org(subject line: Feeding Fierce)