When it seems too good to be true. It probably is. And here's why that's totally okay.
It is very easy to get sucked into the marketing tactics of those in the wellness community. We love our success stories. We relish in them. We read them a hundred times. We ask "Really?" dozens of times while playing out our own possible success scenarios in our heads if we decide to "take the leap" and just join the program, hire the coach, go on the retreat.
We use beautiful graphics, images that match the ones on our vision boards to a tee, and imaginine what feelings we could evoke through working with so and so.
While this is all fun and good. Amazing and yes, effective. It tends to set ourselves up for unrealistic expectations.
I can't tell you how many hundreds of dollars I have shelved over on elite group programs and trainings, this will be the next best thing. This is going to be "it". That thing that sets me free and opens up the heavens and I live happily ever after.
At the end of the program, I'm left with something. I'm improved. I'm more self-aware. I've got some new tools to bring into my coaching practice and to use in my own life. I am changed.
But, then comes in that "Something is missing" thought. No doubt, we all have felt it. We get super hyped up about a new program. It sounds like roses and rainbows. Unicorns dancing. We go through it. We come out better. And yet some how unfullfilled. Maybe even a little duped? Possibly silly?
It's called unrealistic expectations. Yep my friends, even the most spritual of peeps out there with the wellest of intentions often times set us up for wayyyy unrealistic expectations of where we will be at the end of program. Now this is most of the time unintentional. Those in this community, like myself, really want to help you. They really have the best intentions and fully believe in their programs and teachings. I stand behind mine too.
Sometimes it is intentional. Having a successful marketing campaign is all about getting those repeat customers. Give them just enough, but not too much, so they come back for more. It's super smart. It's super effective. I get it. And it's totally nescessary if you want to have a successful online business.
For some consumers out there their time with the program was totally what they needed and all they needed at that moment in their lives to propel them forward. It worked for them. They loved it. Their lives look different.
For others though, it wasn't so simple. It was tough. It was hard to integrate it all. They couldn't figure out all this stuff. They just had so much to cover that the time in the program just wasn't long enough.
While a huge part of myself loves that I can have my pick of the best of the best of the best programs out there due to the wonderful world of internet marketing, part of me is also very wary after my experience.
I've had good experiences, I've had bad exepriences. I've had moments with coaches where it felt totally organic to work with them. I've had moments with coaches where they totally rubbed me the wrong way.
It took experience to get here. To truly understand what it is I want and need from a coach, and how I work best. For some, group coaching is totally the way to go. For others, it really isn't. Masterminds with community may be the perfect fit. And some need full on structure and alone time. Some need a combination. Some need each at different times for different phases of their lives.
Here's the bottom line: It all "works" to some degree. Good or bad experience. You learn something.
Only through experience can you fine tune your intuition.
Here's why I will never tell you that MY program is going to be the thing that will be "the last program you ever take!": because it simply isn't true.
And that's a good thing. Not because I may or may not get repeat business, but because if all it took was ONE program in your entire life to completely solve all of your problems well then you are probably a very boring one dimensional person. Or maybe you're superhuman.
So what I mean by this is that when someone is claiming that this program is the end all be all to your body, food, business, relationship or spititual drama, EXAMINE THEM CAREFULLY. Because ain't nobody got all their shit together 24 hours a day 7 days a week. And also really get introspective and honest with yourself.
These people are trying to sell something. Even though what they are selling is typically useful and helpful, they are still selling something. They have to use those kinds of words to pull you in. I have to use them to.
But what I will never do is oversell myself. What I mean is, I will be honest with you about where you can expect to be at the end of our work together. I will also be honest with you if I feel you need more time.
This is an ongoing process. If you come to me after suffering years of body hate and disordered eating, what I can say is that yes 3 months of coaching can radically change your situation. But it also isn't going to be the end of it.
Here's the truth. Often times when you coach, you don't just coach once and be done with it. It's a continual growth process. You will hit walls. You will experience blocks. You will get stuck. You will have shitty days. Or weeks. I don't know.
You will also take the tools from each coaching experience and apply them to what you are going through. You will remember what it feels like to push through the walls. You will remember that you are capable. You will be able to combat the demons and pull yourself back to the light.
Your tools with get rusty though, not because they don't work, but because you have evolved and need knew ones.
Coaching totally works. It has pulled me forward through many dark times in my life. I truly don't know where I would be without it.
I'm telling you this to save you some of the unrealistic expectations I had and the confusion and pain that followed. I honesty had my doubts about coaching even working because of how slow I was to integrate and "get" what I was being taught.
Coaching will propel you forward, but be discerning. Yes, take the leap, but do what you have to do to catch yourself.
Seek out those who speak from their hearts. Don't get sold by all the bright and shiny objects. Or if thats what you want, go for it. Just be aware. Ask questions. Work with them for free or at a low cost as often as you can. Just because someone has a beautiful website and appear professional, doesn't mean they have the best skills suited for you.
If it's one place you want to be discerning it is coaching. A not so great experience can leave you with a bad taste in your mouth and feeling duped.
But a great one will catapult you towards your desires.
Here is a true story: I joined a popular group coaching program last spring. I was super excited about it. Watched the launch for weeks. Practically threw my money ($1500 to be exact) at this coach because I loved what she was teaching and I was rooting for her. I went through the program and at the end, felt like something was missing. It didn't do for me what I thought it would. It wasn't enough.
I went searching again for the next group because I didn't want to invest in a private coach but needed more help. I found out that someone I had spoken with before, but was a little tiffed about because she didn't give me what I wanted, was doing a group program. After talking with her in depth about my concerns with the group, I went forward and tried again. I definitely got something out of it. But I still needed more, so again I was miffed. But, this coach offered me a free session. In this session the coach really helped me get clear on what I needed. Talking with her one on one really allowed me to understand her skills. She even then offered to talk to me again to go over my concerns over the cost of a her private coaching. She spoke to me for over an hour. And really held space for me. Despite my tiffs, the fact that she did this, that she took the time to carefully craft email responses and get on the phone with me, allowed me to trsut her. And it also told me that she really wanted to work with me too. I did her 3 month program growing major leaps and bounds that I resigned with her for another 3 months. She was honest with me and I never felt sold to.
On the contrary, I signed up for a free hour long session with a branding coach I had followed for up to a year. I was excited to talk to her and gain some of her insights. The entire time all she did was talk about her program. And basically made me feel like if I didn't get clear on my "message" all the business systems in the world wouldn't help me. It felt skeevy. Maybe it was just a bad day for her because I know many whom work with her, but for me it was like she didn't follow through on her promise to talk to me about branding, what would the program be like?
I say these things to you because I don't want you to waste money, time and effort and think coaching doesn't work because you had a bad experience. Like any sort of purchase, you want to do your research. And like anything sometimes you just choose a bad apple and you learn from it. But I'm pretty sure no one would go out and buy a MacBook Pro for thousands of dollars without doing a little research and trying it on for size. Take advantage of free or low cost offerings. Get clear on what you want. What you expect.
This why I do free consults so you can get a feel for how I work and what my offerings consist of. This is also why if or when I do a group coaching program you can bet I will build the best possible product I can so that you know exactly what you're getting and have every opportunity to get the most out of it.
Be aware. Be discerning. Be fierce. Be happy.
When it seems too good to be true. It probably is. And here's why that's totally okay.