Happy Witch Wednesday!
Last week's newsletter was a bit intense no? Well, love me or hate me I'd like to keep that theme up.
First, it was an intense week for the world...I mean really it's been fairly intense recently with all the crazy ass shit that's been going down, but now on top of that there's Brexit. A pretty big decision was made my the people of Britain to leave the European Union which means a boat load of things I don't yet fully understand and I'm not going to get into.
But it's really crazy considering we have this Neptune in Pisces square Saturn in Sag. It's all about breaking shit down, illusions..institutions etc. Needless to say it gets the people riled up.
Who knows exactly how Brexit will play out for the world. People are scared because of the massive effect it will have. I think it's far too early to tell if it's a bad or a good thing.
Something happens to us in the face of massive break downs and changes. You're forced to release and to surrender. It's like worrying out about the Truth and then finding it out. You're outraged depending upon the answer but there's also that part of you that is grateful for it, because now you KNOW.
Because now the trajectory has changed so vastly that so many other parts of your life will feel the shock waves too. It's like having an Earthquake within. Some shit gets broken and it hurts like a mother fucker. But there's also this freedom start OVER.
It's both exhilarating and massively terrifying at the same time. (for the record I'm not saying tragedy or suffering is a good thing).
It's like when you get rid of old shit in your home. You're sad to see it go in some way, but also so much lighter because it's gone. Because now perhaps even more aligned things can come to you.
If you haven't caught my drift of metaphors here I'm talking about what goes on in your psyche too.
Bubbles burst within you because what you thought once to be true, is not longer. And yes, it can be daunting to move on from there especially as you sift through the rubble and the fog and the confusion.
But it is all part of the process. And that's what we need to remember. That stage, the breaking down, the confusion and heartbreak that follows, the feeling stagnant for a while, the little baby steps...it's ALL part of the process. It's not something we get to skip over. It's not something that only happens to some people and not to others.
Everyone goes through it. Sometimes it's quick. And other times it's slow. And neither is right nor wrong. It just is.
So yep, I'm in this weird state of breaking down a bunch of crap. And some days are good. Some days are on fire. And other days I'm mush.
Normally I'd get angry over this, but I've gone through enough of these now that on some level I KNOW this is the process. Sometimes it makes it easier, other times it doesn't. But I always make sure that in some capacity I'm committing to my self-care. Whether that's through consults and chats with my trusted people, taking care of my body with more pampering, or turning to Astrology. Sometimes it's a combo, sometimes it's a fraction of one.
We are doing the best we can. With so much going on in the world collectively and within our individual Souls it's important to acknowledge everything that we DO do, instead of letting everything we could be doing paralyze us.
So I'm going to tie this back into Astrology again. Today we have Mars going DIRECT in Scorpio (after being retrograde in Sag & Scorp since April 17th) Scorpio is the sign Mars rules. And for me I'm singing "hallelujah" since I'm a Scorpio Sun! But my Scorpio Moons & Risings will definitely sense the kick too. Mars going direct in Scorpio means we can undergo some physical transformations, feel like we are ready to take bolder actions, hit the destruct button on whatever we are "over", and also boost our sexual energy. I love that this is happening right after Pride celebrations, it's the charge needed right now too.
I know I've been feeling sort of drab energy wise over the past 2 ish months. And TONS of questions have come up around my sexuality (Scorpios realm) and the healing I have to do. During my Intuitive Reading with my friend Erin, she hit the nail on the head and I'd like to share it not because it was some "shock" to me but because she reflected the words I needed to find.
From a young age my sexuality was always apparent to me. Even when I didn't know what "it" was, I felt it's power coursing through my veins. And when I knew what it was it was as if I believed it was the biggest portion of what made up my personal power. And no I'm not talking about me flaunting myself, or being promiscuous with anyone, getting off at any cost or hurting people. Heck, I didn't even kiss someone until I was 17!
I just knew that subtle burn, that Black Moon Lilith energy. It was probably the closest to magic I knew. And it was mine to connect to any time I wanted without anyone ever knowing (the perks of being a woman).
Anyway, during Mars retrograde in Scorpio I had the Reading and Erin said to me "What you have gone through for the past 7 years was a message for you to know that You are not just good for that, you are not just a fuck toy, you are that and a heck of a lot more."
For a long time I had definitely begun to continuously stuff down the trauma I have experienced since my early 20s in regards to my sexuality. It's NOT something that was caused by a violent event, violation or sudden acquired sickness (at least not in this lifetime lol).
. The trauma comes from what I now know are energy blocks, ancestral wounds trying to protect me and keep me safe (something that came up a lot in the reading) that manifested in the form of auto-immune responses. This came from solely within me (and for me) and cannot be tied to a certain event. And yep, that's frustrating!
I've written about it before. But not in a long time, since it is something that really can set me off into a tailspin of the deepest emotions I've ever felt. It's effected ALL areas of my life. It's still something that needs to heal physically and emotionally.
But, with the help of Mars Retro in Scorpio I was able to really have an emotional breakthrough. And now with Mars going direct in Scorpio, I'm looking forward to honoring that beautiful sexy power and nourishing that energy within me and around me. I'm ready to let myself go there and feel it and begin another healing phase.
And I and YOU have some help with that New Moon in Cancer on Monday, with the Sun, Mercury and Venus joining there's going to be lots of opportunity to tap into emotions and nourish our sense of "home"...that soul space.
I'd love to hear from you about what you've been experiencing over the past few intense months of 2016 and offer any support! Just hit "reply"