Happy Witch Wednesday!
Let's get one thing straight before I dive into my rant on Pain and Purpose: I'm totally for it if you're turning your pain into your purpose. That's fucking awesome.
But I'm for it when it's in ALIGNMENT with your Soul.
Here's the the deal, just because you've been able to make amazing strides in over coming your pain or working through some heavy deep shit and you know that it's stuff that could help other people...doesn't mean that it's meant to be your entire Souls Purpose here on Earth.
What do I mean by that? Okay so I see A LOT of propaganda out there toting that your biggest struggles are OBVIOUSLY the thing you're supposed to have as your Souls Purpose, especially in a career sense.
Oh you hated your body and overcame that? So obviously you must be an emotional eating coach or body image coach. Obviously.
Oh so you overcame addiction...you MUST be a counselor for that.
No. No. No.
As someone who OBVIOUSLY thought that the years she spent hating her body, eating disordered for that same length and the subsequent healing of that.....I was hell bent on that being what I helped other people with.
I thought "Well shit, I really would love for others to have support around this pain and I want to be an entrepreneur and I like coaching so therefore according to basically every self-help book out there I must turn this into my purpose here on Earth."
That shit did NOT work (for me). Even though I was uber passionate about the topic and still am. Even though it was SUCH a huge part of my journey and still is. Even though I invested thousands of dollars healing my wounds and then receiving business support to make it happen.
I was HELL BENT on my pain having to be my purpose that it was all I saw. And let me tell you sometimes it gets really fucking tiresome hashing out the same part of your life through your clients and your own self. And sometimes that's FINE. Sometimes that's what works for some people. And sometimes you live happily ever after.
For some people. And for some souls. But SOMETIMES NOT FOR EVERY ONE.
Sometimes when have that tunnel vision of your Pain being your Purpose, it actually stalls you. Sometimes it means you struggle so fucking hard to "make it happen" instead.
Sometimes it means you don't see the seemingly subtle, somewhat unconscious pain that is actually-a-probably-maybe-a-greater part of your purpose because you are so blinded by that obvious pain.
Sometimes your Soul has a different avenue in it's energy for you to unfold as the most fully expressed, aligned and "successful" version of you.
Sometimes your Ego likes to play games and distract you with the easy temptation and simpilization (that's not a word, is it?) of latching onto what all these well meaning self-help gurus like to dangle right in front of you: "Your pain is obviously your purpose." Are you mind-fucked yet?
Um yeah but....that needs to be elaborated on. And not be played out like it's just that easy & obvious.
Here's what happened to me:
I struggled with food for years, it caused me lots of anxiety. I hated my body for years. As I began to heal personally from that through being coached and counseled by other people, I found I had a knack for that too. So I went to Coaching School. And spent YEARS struggling trying to make this Pain my Purpose because that was the rad thing to do. Because that's what everyone else seemed to be doing. Because that's basically what every spiritual guru out there says happens. And still, years of going around in circles. Then I discovered my anxiety around food/body came from the fact that I was actually a Highly Sensitive Person and the lack of understanding around that is what caused me to turn on my body. Thus I became interested there and decided that has to be my purpose, too. Okay well...yet again...STRUGGLE AND STAGNANCY. THEN FINALLY, I've discovered that ALL of this at the core of it comes from my lack of feeling FULLY EXPRESSED. And that's how Magical Soul Bitches came about. And it actually has more to do with shit I just fucking LOVE to talk about and believe in. Yes, clearly my personal pain is mixed into that equation. But...
..do you have ANY idea how subtle that shit is? It's so not an OBVIOUS pain...at all. It's really insidious and was topped by all that other pain. And actually full self-expression was something I LOVED. I adored watching and learning the work of artful self-expression. I loved music. Movies. The creation of them. I had soul-gasms every single time I saw someone create something from THEIR soul.
There was soul-ACHING. And that's different from pain.
And I NO LONGER believe that my "pain" HAS to be my Purpose. My soul-aching, soul-gasm can be my purpose too, or instead of.
The shit that makes me have a soul-gasm, THAT is my purpose.
So what I'm getting at is a few of things:
(1) Often your most obvious pain points are not your purpose (sometimes it is)
(2) Don't be hellbent having to make your pain your purpose because sometimes..
(3) It takes a damn good while to actually understand your pain and you'll drive yourself crazy by not exploring your own spiritual autonomy.
(4) Sometimes your purpose is just something that you fucking LOVE.
(5) Your Soul teaches you through your pain yes, but it may have other plans in mind.
(6) You're TOTALLY ALLOWED TO HAVE YOUR PURPOSE BE SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF YOUR PAIN.
I can't stand the thought of my Magical Soul Bitches thinking the only way they can live out their purpose is through their pain. It's just not fucking true. The other one "You passion is your purpose" runs around a lot too. Great...yes..that's closer but...shit I'm passionate about a lot of shit, and what I'm passionate about can ebb and flow like the Moon with constant evolution...so again don't get them blinders on, if it aint working...it'll feel like fucking shit and make you question over and over and over again..so give yourself the permission to let it go! You can always come back to it.
I'm not saying that I'm right on this at all, for the record.
AGAIN you are totally allowed to let your pain be your purpose AND you are totally allowed for it NOT to be. It's all what makes you feel MOST SOUL-GASMED OUT!!!
So that's my rant but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this so feel free to hit "reply" and chat it up with me!!!
Happy Witch Wednesday!