This work is messy. The depth is messy. It takes you literally...everywhere.
No corner of your soul goes untouched.
No rock unturned.
No light not burned.
No ashes not inhaled.
This mysterious plane of the dark feminine is not for the faint of heart because it's so fucking undefinable.
And we live in a world that craves the definable. The solid. The consistent. The bullet-points. The conclusions. The summaries. The light. The simple.
I see Feminine work bow tied with a Masculine finish as a means of drawing the people in.
I get it. It works. People want to know what the outline is. What they can expect from an experience. I am drawn to that finish too.
But more and more ...over and over I am beginning to stand with the undefinable.
The gray space.
The extremes of potency.
The cycles of creation and destruction that happen second by second whether we are consciously aware of them or not.
More and more I stop pretending like this can be wrapped up in a pretty palatable, easy to swallow package for you. For myself.
It's hard to "sell" this kind of work.
It makes me uncomfortable. It makes them on edge. It makes them nervy. It makes them wonder how getting off on your darkest energies can bring magic into your life because...
Don't thoughts become things?
If we focus on the darkness...won't more darkness follow? Won't I get sucked into a rabbit hold of despair, never to see the light and love again?
Oh yes darling, you will get sucked down below.
To the depths of your despair.
And it will be glorious.
It will be savage beauty.
It will be alchemy incarnate.
It will black mascara smeared down your face, concreted to the hollows beneath your eyes.
It will be knots in your hair for days in an unwashed body.
It will mean needing the most sleep for your aching soul that communicates through the vessel of this animal body.
It will mean following a path that looks totally irresponsible to the linear world we live in.
The one that has designed our real world structures and the minds of all we know.
It will look like worry. Anxiety. Pain. Fear. Uncertainty.
It will feel like being shoved into a dark room, pitch black with no windows. Worried the floor will be pulled out from underneath you at any moment.
Blindly searching the room for the way "out" yet not realizing that the way "out" is actually by going "in".
And in fact that being out and in is actually one and the same. And neither is more preferable to the other.
It's recognizing that THIS is the deepest healing you will ever experience.
And truth be told, it will happen several times over. And making friends with that is your best bet in navigating this new world paradigm that is no doubt rising up.
I've been waiting for the moment I could stop pretending and convincing myself I had to wrap it all up in a pretty bow for you to notice me.
I had to wrap it all up for you to want to swallow.
That I had to sell you what you want and give you what you need.
And oh how hard it is to resist that temptation when I see amazing women sharing powerful feminine work and perceive them as being more "successful" than me.
What makes my work peculiar right now is that I let the Moon Phase dictate the tone of my work.
You see Astrology is the Language of Intuitive Energy. It doesn't speak the same language every time.
Each zodiac sign is a mere archetype for a quality that is held within us naturally, archetypes that express differently.
They have different styles and means for getting their message across.
I see Moon Cycle work out there that is beautiful. That is powerful. That is reaching the right people just as much as it's impacting the not so aligned people.
But then I see how it's delivered in such bullet pointed way and it feels...off for me.
That's not to say my work doesn't include some of that. Because hey it's a great way to jog your memory.
But I literally have begun to let the Moon Phase/Zodiac Sign dictate the length, tone, language, style of the work that is created.
It's because I need for you to understand that not everything is going to be the same.
That parts of you need to be spoken to differently in order for it to land.
In order for you to truly learn which archetypes within you are your jam and which aren't and how you can unify that with your compassion.
We need to get used to the ebbs and flows. The evolution.
The process of alchemy which when you're human and soul, feels anything other than "follow these steps to happiness".
This may not be popular. It may not speak to masses.
But it will speak to the Witches that know that there is something off about what they see.
Some other path that exists.
Something that is more inclusive.
Something that makes room for you while also facilitating channels and mutable containers.
It will speak to those of you who got sidetracked with the extensive bullet points, the light and love fluffy style, the summaries and over-structured delivery.
Those of you that missed the permission to be sad, rageful, sexy, dancing in the fire with blood dripping down your face, the permission to be perverse, to explore the intimate darkness and not just hear "Feel your feelings" with the undertone of "No, not that one. Not like that. Not too long."
No more. Not for me. Not for any one whose just not feeling that right now. Or ever felt that.
If you're into that. More power to you. I truly mean that.
But for those of us who find beauty in the macabre, arousal in the underbelly, and solace in the Lilith...
I stand right there with you, feet in the mud.
Soul in the seas.